


When did you fall out of love with me?

by MangoMin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Sad Ending, Sad Tsukishima Kei, i'll add more ships and tags as this goes on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26539408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangoMin/pseuds/MangoMin
Summary: Drabbles of Tsukshima's melancholy love life.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	When did you fall out of love with me?

**Author's Note:**

> :D i'm sorry

There’s a lot of things Kei disliked about himself. His height for one thing. He always used it as an advantage when he was younger and in the volleyball club but the older he got the more he felt like the small distance between him and everyone else made it seem like there was some sort of separation between him and them.

Another thing he hated was how he looked without his glasses on. 

After his first year of high school, he figured it’d be easier to wear contacts during practice and games. He didn’t think anything of it at first but he noticed that for some reason, it drew attention to him. _Did they think he looked ugly now that they could see his face clearly?_ Although he was able to school his expression, those types of thoughts constantly ran through his mind.

* * *

_“Wow Tsuki! It’s been so long since I’ve see you without your glasses on.”_

_“There’s no need to make a big deal about it.”_

_“I know.. it’s just that your eyes shine even brighter now.”_

_“What are you even saying?”_

_“Ah.. sorry Tsuki.”_

* * *

It’s not a secret that Tsukishima can be an asshole. He doesn’t try to be one— well, not always anyway. He hates how insecure he is about everything. 

About if he played well enough in the game, if he had gotten a high enough grade on his math test, when his friends talk about their families and the only thing he can do is stay quiet or when they’re talking about relationships and he can’t begin to imagine someone wanting to do anything romantic with him.

He built up a wall that could touch the moon because he hates the thought of someone seeing him as weak.

* * *

_“Don’t let what Tanaka Senpai and Nishanoya Senpai get you down. I know you know that they were just teasing but I could tell that it was getting to you.”_

_“It wasn’t ‘getting to me’.”_

_“There’s no need to lie, Tsuki. We’ve been friends long enough that I can see through the walls you put up, I know when you’re upset.”_

_“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”_

_“I do! You purse your lips into this little pout! It’s actually kind of cute.”_

_“...”_

_“... sorry Tsuki.”_

* * *

Tsukishima hates a lot of things about himself. He could probably fill up an entire notebook listing all of them. But the thing he hates the most is how he ignored all the signs. All the sweet compliments, the stolen glances when _he_ thought Tsukishima wasn’t looking. 

The way their hands always brushed against each other on their walk home or the subtle touches of their fingertips when they passed stuff to each other.

The gleam in _his_ eyes whenever Tsukishima said anything to _him._ Or paid _him_ any attention really. That time when they decided to be each others first kiss because they’re the only ones on the team who hasn’t had theirs yet.

* * *

_“Don’t think anything of it.”_

_“Of course I won’t, Tsuki! It was just to get it out of the way. It doesn’t mean anything.”_

* * *

But the redness on _his_ cheeks that traveled down _his_ neck told a different story.

  
  


If only he had— a knock on the door brings him out of his thoughts. “Come in.” He calls out.

The door cracks open and his freckled friend pops his head in, his eyes closed. “Is it safe to look?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” He scoffs. 

A smile makes its way to the other man's face. He walks into the room, closing the door behind him. “I’m just joking, Tsuki.”

“Tch.” The taller of the two grumbles to himself.

“ _Wow!_ Tsuki, you look amazing!” Yamaguchi walks over to him, running his hands down the front of his suit.

Tsukishima smacks his hands away, his face now flushed “What do you think— what are you even saying? We’re basically wearing the same thing!”

“Yeah, but you look so good in it! You better not steal my thunder, this is my big day after all”

And that brings him back to his senses. His best friend of.. he lost count of how many years is getting married. Ah, this. He was wrong before. _This_ is what he hates most about himself. 

His best friend, his first real friend, the person who probably cares about him the most is getting married today and he can’t bring himself to be happy for _him._

* * *

When Yamaguchi first told him that he was getting married, he was shocked to say the least. He knew that _he_ was in a relationship but he hadn’t realized that it had gotten that serious. _He_ announced it over dinner when they had met up with their friends from high school.

Cheers and congratulations were thrown around and a call for another round of drinks as everyone celebrated. Everyone except Tsukishima, who sat there staring at his hands folded in his lap. He was unsure of how to feel but the unnerving ache in his chest hinted that _happy_ wasn’t it.

The months flew by and as it got closer and closer to the wedding, the ache spread and now it hurts to breathe.

_Have I always loved him?_ Crossed his mind for only a moment as he watched the twinkle of excitement in the others eyes as he checked himself in the mirror.

It's a look he knows very well. For some time it was a look reserved specifically for him but now—

“You know I wouldn’t be able to do this without you, Tsuki. Thank you again for agreeing to be my best man.”

“Who else would’ve done it? One of the idiots?” He scoffs.

Yamaguchi turns to him, that blinding smile still on his face. “Stop pretending like they’re not your friends. You know you love them.”

_I know I love you._ Shut up, brain.

“Well, the ceremony will be starting soon. You have the rings right?”

“Do I seem like I’d forget?”

“Of course not, Tsuki. I know I can always count on you.” He places his hands on Tsukishima’s shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze before he backs away and makes his way towards the door. “Well, wish me luck”.

“You won’t need it.”

_His_ eyes soften as he looks back at Tsukishima, his smile dimming just a bit. “Right. Well, I’ll see you out there.” He says before walking out of the room.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding once Yamaguchi was gone. 

Tsukishima disliked a lot of things about himself but there was one thing he didn’t dislike. And that was the way he felt when he was with _him._

So he’ll bottle up all his feelings. All the hurt, all the love for Yamaguchi’s sake.

He sighs, taking one last look in the mirror. “This is Yamaguchi’s day and you’re not going to ruin it.” He says to himself.

As he makes his way to the door, he can’t stop a somber thought.

_But it could’ve been ours._

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Twitter: @softkoukei
> 
> Also! I'm hosting a middle blocker zine! Interest check is currently going on so if you want to check it out, i have more information on my twitter and tumblr @kyukyuzines


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